Well, so the weight loss regime is going on slower than I imagined...after a week of sweating it out and avoiding all things yummy, I have lost a mere 300 gms!! I could cry!! I am dreaming of cakes, gulab jamuns, pasta and what not!! So, my instructor makes me write down every tiny bite of anything or everything that I nibble through the day (so she can reprimand me the next day), in addition I am supposed to drink at least 16 glasses of water in a day! Phewww!! My highest has been 8 glasses so far and yes, the instructor is disappointed in me. She says I have some "tough weight" on me. Duuuuhhhhh...after 22 years of my life, I sure don't need an instructor to tell me that much!!
So as far as Aryan is concerned, we are continuing to meet about once a week. Last week we went out for a movie and held hands through the movie. Do friends do that? Even best friends? I don't know what it is between us. We have met after 2 years and the chemistry still seems to be there. But it's almost deja vu again since he's dating Kanika this time. The weird thing is we haven't spoken about "us" at all. Two years ago, when his breakup with Neha happened, he clearly knew I was in love with him. I don't know what he thinks now. He hasn't asked me and I haven't told him. Maybe he believes I have moved on. He certainly does not say anything romantic to me but what am I supposed to make of non-platonic forehead pecks and holding hands in movies? I know we are not in a relationship. But then we are certainly not behaving like friends either. I hate this sort of mental confusion. I need clear demarcations in my head about relationships. We can either be friends or a couple. There is no in-between. I of course want us to be a couple. But I am not sure what Aryan wants and I am not about to ask him. All I know is I see things in black or white and this grey colour is disturbing the hell out of me.
So as far as Aryan is concerned, we are continuing to meet about once a week. Last week we went out for a movie and held hands through the movie. Do friends do that? Even best friends? I don't know what it is between us. We have met after 2 years and the chemistry still seems to be there. But it's almost deja vu again since he's dating Kanika this time. The weird thing is we haven't spoken about "us" at all. Two years ago, when his breakup with Neha happened, he clearly knew I was in love with him. I don't know what he thinks now. He hasn't asked me and I haven't told him. Maybe he believes I have moved on. He certainly does not say anything romantic to me but what am I supposed to make of non-platonic forehead pecks and holding hands in movies? I know we are not in a relationship. But then we are certainly not behaving like friends either. I hate this sort of mental confusion. I need clear demarcations in my head about relationships. We can either be friends or a couple. There is no in-between. I of course want us to be a couple. But I am not sure what Aryan wants and I am not about to ask him. All I know is I see things in black or white and this grey colour is disturbing the hell out of me.
